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Procopio’s Got Talent – Chapter 4 – The Christmas Song


Procopio sluggishly opens an email that has just entered his Inbox on a deadening Friday afternoon. An invitation for a small office Christmas party singing contest burst into his screen but nevertheless it did not excite him a bit.

“BO…ring,” says Procopio to himself as he sees a mosaic made up of various internet-downloaded Christmas-related photos mixed up against a black background entitled “Christmas in Our Hearts”. Several details about the party are written below the invitation but Procopio shows no interest in reading them. He switches his screen to a sixty-page document containing a number of lewd stories about sex encounters. His eyes grow big and refuse to blink as he skims through the pages to find the words “Ooooh” and “Aaaah”. With a big smile on his face, he starts to read the moment he finds a group of words that he is eagerly searching for. He is beginning to feel a bit of pleasure inside him when all of a sudden;

“Choco!” shouts Tin.

Procopio quickly hits Alt + Tab and unknowingly switches back to the email invitation about the small office Christmas party singing contest. He swivels around and sees Tin holding a giant red Christmas ball in her hand.

“I didn’t know you’re SOOO interested in that,” says Tin teasingly as she points out the email invitation flashing in Procopio’s computer screen.

“What’s up with the ball?” asks Procopio as he swipes the red Christmas ball off Tin’s hand and looks at his reflection on the side of the ball.

“We’re just dressin’ up our cubes ‘cause we’re not like you, Uncle Scrooge,” says Tin while Procopio is dumbly putting the ball in his mouth and trying to get lain on his belly above his table mimicking a roasted suckling pig.

Tin is about to kick Procopio’s ass when Sands comes in from behind.

“Hey guys! Let’s join the contest! I’ll be the lead singer. Tin, you’ll be the backup vocals,” says Sands deliriously.

“No! I’ll take the lead. You’ll be the backup!” answers Tin.

“No! I’ll take the lead. You’ll be the backup!” answers Sands.

“No! I’ll take the lead. You’ll be the backup!” answers Tin.

“No! I’ll take the lead…because you’re fat!” answers Sands.

The office lights went off for half a second and sparks of electricity flicker between the eyes of the two girls while they intensely look at each other.

“No! I’ll…

“SHUT UP!” screams the two girls even before Procopio finishes what he is about to say.

Tension continues to build up between the two girls as Procopio’s cubicle starts to shake a bit. The pen holder and miniature toys above Procopio’s desk are starting to drift because of the arising earthquake caused by the two girls when the desk clock at the edge of the table strikes at six o’clock.

“Party Time!” says the two girls in chorus and the trembling immediately stops.

During the night, Procopio is having a difficult time sleeping. The bed screeches frequently as he tumbles himself a lot trying to get a good position. He quits after two hours of doing nonsense flipping and decides to snatch his iPod. Then he spends about an hour or so listening to various music genres and sending himself to a sort of trance when he momentarily hits an unplugged version of a popular song;

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…”

“Jack Frost nipping at your nose…”

He barely falls down as he blindly reaches for his cell phone sitting on the desk by the side of his bed. Half asleep and half awake, he unknowingly and bizarrely types a message. Procopio instantly falls asleep at the moment he presses



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